When to Call-out, When to Call-in

Call-out culture is toxic. I have no doubts about that statement, as I have watched new activists shy away from communities or completely disengage for fear of being publicly humiliated for an honest mistake. I myself have avoided communities I would love to join because of their heavy reliance on call-outs. Constantly calling out creates a culture of fear and isn't conducive to learning.

Calling-in, the theoretical alternative, is certainly my preferred go-to. This practice involves drawing someone aside so they can quietly learn from their mistakes and grow as a person. It is compassion-based, rather than performance-based. But excessive use of calling in can be just as toxic as calling out (albeit in different ways).

In this blog post (my first one in a long time--apologies to anyone who might happen to read these regularly) I hope to help readers think about when each one is appropriate. I can't claim to know any hard-and-fast rules, but this is a problem I've been considering ever since I first learned about calling in. Recent events in my own life have compelled me to write these thoughts out, where I hope someone can find them helpful. If we hope to build inclusive, safe communities that foster growth and learning, we need to learn how to balance calling out and calling in.

As I mentioned earlier, calling in is definitely my go-to. If I'm in a meeting with someone and they say something offensive, I'll find time to speak to them privately later on. This allows us to have a more in-depth conversation, and often allows the person to explore for themselves why what they said was wrong. I find that after this type of experience, people will often become skillful at self-correcting, and are constantly seeking to do better even in areas they weren't called in on. Had they been called out, the result would have likely been an argument, or the person may have simply shut down and little learning or improvement would occur.

At the same time, there are situations where calling in can be harmful and dangerous. Let's explore an example with far too many real-world parallels: sexual assault on a college campus.

Let's imagine that a professor sexually assaults a student of his. The student follows established university procedure, and quietly reports the assault to university officials. At this point, officials might consider two options: 1. Quietly attempt to resolve the conflict, minimizing public knowledge or 2. Explore the accusation and, if the professor is found guilty, remove him from his position with a publicly available explanation.

I doubt that most university officials who choose option 1 are thinking about call-in vs. call-out culture when making their decisions. However, for the sake of the exercise, let's assume these particular officials are. They quietly attempt a conflict resolution process involving only the victim, the attacker, and a few other people. At the end of the process, the professor is allowed to keep his position and his dignity with a promise to do better. Meanwhile, the victim is forced to continue attending her attacker's class. She struggles with mental health issues and eventually transfers schools out of fear of her attacker. In this case, all of the burden appears to be placed on the victim. How is this just?

Worse, since the professor's offenses were kept so private, a large number of students are dangerously unaware of his predatory behaviors. He was not forced to leave or to fix his behavior, so he is able to continue moving in the dark, as abusive individuals often do. In time, he's able to manipulate another student into a vulnerable position and attack her as well. We now have a second victim whose assault could have been prevented if the university had taken a stronger stance. Call-in culture can sometimes allow abusive figures to privately remain in communities, biding their time and attacking a long stream of victims. Meanwhile, the victims are forced to shoulder much of the burden, which is grossly inappropriate for a number of reasons. Again, I don't intend to draw any rules about when to call-out and when to call-in. I only hope that I can demonstrate to readers that each one can be harmful, and neither of them is perfect. Call-in culture is often seen as a pure and wholesome alternative to call-out culture, but relying on it to solve every problem can jeopardize people's safety.

It is up to us to consider the consequences every time we choose one or the other, and make our decisions with the utmost care. Otherwise, we risk doing more harm than good.